Chapter 30

I got back to the hotel around three o’clock and noticed that the street between the two hotels was blocked with street barriers and there was some increased foot traffic.

I walked into our room, and I couldn’t believe the look of relief on Tina’s face. I’d never seen her look so tense. “Oh God, how did it go?” Tears filled her eyes. She collapsed in my arms when I told her how well it had gone.

I sat us down on the bed and held her as she cried out thirty years of guilt, loneliness, and regret. It was a deluge of emotions that she’d been keeping at bay for so long that there was no holding them back now. I laid us down and she snuggled up under my chin and held me so tightly until when the last tear was shed, she fell asleep.

***

I opened my eyes when I felt her soft lips on my jaw. I looked down at her to find her staring up into my eyes.

“What a strange old world this is.” She kissed my lips tenderly. “I never could have imagined this when I let you move in. At the time I knew it was the wrong thing to do. I knew that I would end up sleeping with you.” She caressed my cheek and smiled. “You’re handsome and sweet. What did I do to deserve you? I’ve always been so bad.”

I kissed her tenderly and told her how I felt. “You are beautiful and sweet. You’re thoughtful and kind. The problem is, is that the men you knew were only interested in the beautiful part. Like a pretty car that they could show off to their friends.”

I smiled and quoted her favorite AC/DC song. “She was a fast machine; she kept her motor clean;

she was the best damn woman that I ever seen.” I remembered how she’d danced for me to the same song a few months ago.

Tina chuckled sadly. “Yeah, I’m a fast machine all right.”

I pulled her lips to mine again. “Each of us is broken in some sort of way, either a little or a lot,” I whispered. “What you’ve lacked is someone who is man enough to hold you together.” I tightened my arms around her for emphasis.

She was quiet for a couple of minutes then she looked up at me intently. “Gabe, I’ve been … wanting to ask you something for a while,” she said softly. I nodded to say that I was ready to hear it. “When your three years on this ship are over … “

It was a question I’d asked myself many times, over the last several months. A future with Tina included many forgone conclusions. I was never going to have children. As she is twenty-five years older than I am, how much time would we have together? Ten years, twenty, thirty if we are lucky?

As I’ve mentioned, my father has repeatedly told me to be careful of the decisions and subsequent actions I make in life. Because there is no fate, no destiny. Our lives are the sum of our decisions and actions. But I’d already made this decision.

I cleared my throat. “I’m not sure how long I want to stay in the Coast Guard. I like it, and I’m good at it. We do an important job for this country and that’s hard to walk away from. It’s a great team to be a part of. I think I’ll be in at least two enlistments. If my next station is a land billet, and it should be, I could start culinary school.”

I looked into her eyes. “I’m in love with you. I’ve never been in love and it’s wonderful. You are wonderful. I want you with me.” I watched her face soften as she understood. “You could rent out the house again. I think an experienced bi-lingual court reporter would be in demand everywhere.”

She nodded and gave me a happy smile. “Hawaii maybe?”

***

I don’t think I’d ever felt this happy. I felt as light as a feather as Gabe got us up and into the shower. We clung to each other in the hot water and kissed for what seemed like forever. I must have told him that I loved him and was his forever, a dozen times. His reply was always more kisses.

When we got out, he walked to the closet and pulled out our evening clothes. He’d brought the same tight blue pencil dress I’d worn when I first picked him up from his ship. He laid out a matched black lace bra and panty set and to my surprise, a pair of rather sensible wedge heels. I picked them up and gave him a raised eyebrow.

He smiled. It was that “Don’t worry, I have a plan,” smile that I’d come to love and trust. As I applied my makeup, I watched him in the mirror. He shaved and then dressed in a pair of handsome black trousers with a blue button-down dress shirt that surprisingly matched my dress rather well. Black leather shoes and a belt nearly completed his outfit. He walked up and handed me a pair of silver cufflinks and held his cuff for me.

“Would you mind putting those on for me, I have trouble with cufflinks.” I looked at them to find they were in the shape of a padlock, to match the one on my collar. I smiled and slid the post through the holes.

He looked at me and said, “Speaking of padlocks …” He reached up and removed my collar. He tossed it on the bed and looked at me seriously. “I love playing with you and even being Alpha for you,” his hand cupped my jaw and our eyes met. “Doing all the wicked things you enjoy, but tonight I’d like to just be two people in love. If, that’s okay?”

I kissed him.

***