Chapter 3 – I

After I unpacked my stuff, I came back out to the living room and noticed mom wasn't in the kitchen anymore. She'd left a note on the fridge saying she needed to run some errands and that dinner'd be at 7PM. I went out and spent the rest of the day driving around the Island and mozied up to Port Aransas, too, where I hung out on the beach, watching the waves pick up and crash to the shore.

As I sat on a bench overlooking the Gulf, vivid thoughts began criss-crossing through my mind, thoughts about my mom. Sexual thoughts. The first I'd had in quite a while. I just couldn't take my mind off how damn good she looked now. That bronze skin, her shapely figure, almost only a silhouette underneath her sundress, but still so visible, so sleek, so curvy in all the right ways. I envisioned myself under her, in her bed, her dress hiked up, her riding me reverse cowgirl as I choked at her hips and bucked my pelvis back at her.

The recurring visions I was having of her were so concurrently arousing and disturbing that I had to stop by a beachside bar and slam down a couple cold Coronas to cool myself down and put my mind at ease. I started to think that maybe coming down here wasn't such a good idea. Fortunately I ran into an old high school pal at the bar. We caught up on old times and watched the Astros game for a bit, which helped take my mind off things.

When I got back home, it was around 630PM and mom'd already finished dinner. She'd gone the taco route, and the tacos were flanked by tomato and pepper salad, nachos, and refried beans. She'd also opened a bottle of expensive Texas Merlot from a winery a cousin of ours runs.

"Howdy there, shug. Kick off your boots, wash up, and help me set the table." Mom yelled out from the kitchen, as I walked in through the front door.

"Sure thing." I replied. I felt uncomfortable seeing her after thinking about having sex with her all afternoon. So I went into the bathroom, slapped some cold water on my face, did my best to return my thoughts to baseball, and went back out there and had the table set up in seconds flat.

Dinner was delicious. As we ate we made small talk, but the conversation turned more serious when the subject of love and dating arose. Seems my mom hadn't dated at all since her divorce.

"It's just so hard to find a man at my age. Most are married or confirmed bachelors just looking for a quick one, or total jerks. I even joined an online dating service, which was a total disaster. You should have seen some of the responses I got there. What a bunch of creeps…"

"I think dating's hard at any age."

"No, trust me, the older you get, the harder it is. I remember back in high school, before your dad and I got together, there'd always be a handsome young stud waiting. Now they're all married or turned into beached whales."

The wine we'd been drinking had started to give me a nice buzz. I don't know what it is about wine. I can kill a sixer of cold ones and not feel much, but wine gets right to me. And soon I started talking and words just started flying out of my mouth.

"Mom, you're a beautiful woman. I've always thought so. I mean, hey, I'd date you."

Mom's facial expression turned from relaxed to noticeably uneasy.

"That's sweet of you to say, but…"

"Nah, I'm serious. Any guy would be lucky to have you. You're really sexy. And cool too…" I told my mom, in a dead serious tone, looking her intently in the eyes, unflinchingly. The drinks were definitely coursing through my veins now, and my cock started to harden a bit. I reached my hand across the table and cupped it over hers.

Mom sat silent, her gaze down toward the table. I think she found it unbelievable that her son was talking to her in such a way. A thick tension fogged the air, and all of a sudden I felt embarrassed about what I'd said to her and how I'd said it. I suddenly realized that I was sitting here kind of buzzed and hitting on my own mom.

"You shouldn't say things like that to me, or look at me like that." Mom replied, snatching her hand away from mine, before getting up, picking up her plate, and walking briskly over to the kitchen.

"Sorry…" I muttered, now totally feeling like an asshole. Mom dumped her plates in the sink and disappeared into her room for the rest of the night. I cleared the rest of the table and washed the dishes, then sat for a while on the balcony outside the living room, watching the dark water lap up at the shore, drinking tequila straight from the bottle, and feeling like shit for basically coming onto my mom like that. I thought that she thought I was probably just as bad as the creeps she'd met on the Internet.

Next morning I woke up early and gathered my things, figuring I should probably go. Mom was sitting on the couch, sipping coffee, and reading the paper. When she saw me emerge from my room, head hung low, carrying a suitcase, she sprung to her feet, startled.

"What are you doing?" She inquired, hands on her hips.

"I'm going. I guess it's best after last night." I said, barely even able to look at her as I spoke.

"No, don't go. I want you to stay. You'd had a few drinks. I know you didn't mean what you said."

I have a thing about honesty, especially with my mom. I can't lie. Even though in this situation I probably should have, I just couldn't. Something just took over me that sort of gave all my inhibitions a shot of anesthesia, and words again starting flying out of my mouth.

"See, that's the thing. I can't lie to you, mom. I did mean it. You're a beautiful woman. I guess I really would date you. Be with you like that… I've always thought you were cute. I used to even have a crush you, and yesterday that crush sorta came back…"

She paused like she'd lost her breath, turned her head, and looked out the window. Her expression again shifted, briefly to aghast, but then to inquisitive.

"You'd really want to be with me? A woman 14 years older? Who's also your mother?" She said, still staring out the window.

"I guess I would. I know it's wrong, but I can't help feeling this way. Truth is, I kind of see you more as my friend than my mom nowadays…"

I figured since the cat was not only out of the bag but also clawing at the furniture, I might as well continue. Probably wasn't much to lose at this point.

"You could be like a friend with benefits. I mean, you said you wanted a man around the house."

"I didn't exactly mean like that…" Mom said, putting her hand over her mouth and laughing a little.

"I'm sorry, mom. It's just how I feel. I'm attracted to you, always have been, but never more so than now. Yesterday, I just started having all these thoughts… And when you were talking about dating and guys, I don't know, things came out. Alcohol sometimes does that to me. Makes me say things without thinking. Things I regret saying. Listen, I know it's crazy, but it's how I feel. You're just… really hot. And though I kinda regret saying what I said, it's true, all true. I'm sorry if me saying all this and feeling this way has hurt you. I really am… But look, I should probably go before this gets any more difficult for us both."