Chapter 96

“Sure, sure,” mom said distractedly, waving with her hand in a shooing motion while she examined the slides. “Pick her up some condoms while you’re out, just in case she forgets how to lesbian or something.”

“That’s not going to happen, you know!” Alexa called back at the living room as I dragged her out the door by her hand.

***

“Your family is weird.” Alexa remarked as she sat in the passenger’s seat while I drove into the city.

“My family?” I asked, raising my eyebrow. “They’re yours too, y’know. Or is this that same bullshit my mom does where if I do something dumb, all of a sudden I’m my father’s son?”

Alexa sighed. “Is my sister always that snarky?”

“I think she has to be, to keep up with dad and I,” I replied. “She usually the straight man in our little tribe.”

“I’ve got a feeling I’ll be inheriting that unenviable position.” Alexa sighed.

“Not a chance,” I laughed. “You’re every bit as weird as the rest of us and you’re as big a troll as I am, you just hide it better. You’re not fooling anyone in this household.”

“Guess the jig’s up,” she mused. “Oh well, guess I’ll just look forward to the madness, right?”

Her hand reached over and squeezed my thigh before travelling further up to rest on my crotch, causing me to tighten my grip on the steering wheel.

“Besides, now that we’re married, I shouldn’t pretend to be something I’m not, right?” she whispered, smiling slyly.

“Just keep pretending you’re a lesbian until we figure this out,” I said, trying to concentrate on driving. “At least we’re fooling them in one way.”

“Thank Heaven for that…” she purred, unbuckling her seatbelt and leaning down, her head now in my lap. She unzipped my fly and pulled out my already hardening cock. “I hope for your sake these windows tint, because I’m not stopping.”

I tinted the windows as dark as I could, praying for the best. A shiver went through me as I felt my aunt’s wet lips form a wonderful seal around my shaft and then she began bobbing up and down slowly, humming to vibrate her lips around me. My head thunked back against the headrest of my chair, but I kept my eyes on the road. I flipped on the cruise control, thankful for the feature on a level I never had been before.

“Mmmmmm, I’ll be my sister doesn’t do this…” she murmured, following the statement up with a pause. “Actually, never mind. She probably does.”

“Best to assume that,” I breathed as she resumed sucking on me. The incredible wetness of her mouth around me felt incredible. “I have no idea how long I’ll last with you doing that, it’s feeling really good.”

I heard her giggle. “That’s okay, I just wanted your cum. And I haven’t given you roadhead yet. Just correcting an injustice.”

I kept driving, steadying my nerves as I felt the familiar tingle bubbling up inside me. I sucked in my breath and moaned, somehow pushing my hips up against her mouth. Alexa pushed her mouth down, taking me all the way inside and swallowing greedily as I shot my cum down her throat. She moaned in pleasure, squirming in her seat.

She finally sat up, sighing happily as I continued to somehow navigate the vehicle. She wiped at the corner of her mouth and beamed a smile at me.

“Yeah, definitely not identifying as lesbian at the moment,” she said. “Was pretty dumb of me to not wear panties, though. I’m gonna soak right through these jogging pants.”

I looked sideways, noticing for the first time that she was indeed wearing jogging pants. How the hell did she make those look so amazing? She grinned and drew her legs up onto the seat and spread them, showing off a tiny dark patch right at the seam of the crotch.

“And just to make you paranoid, I’m not gonna do anything about cleaning myself up,” she said, smirking. “If people see my wet spot, they see it. What do you have to say to that, nephew?”

“I think you’re avenging yourself somehow for the poontang remark,” I muttered. “Guess I’ll take us to the specialist electronics shop on the far side of town. Less likely to run into anyone I know there.”

Alexa snickered evilly. “How terrible for you.”

***

Dad and I had packed the vehicles a full four hours before mom announced we were needing to leave, keeping only our personal packs out of the cars to allow for last minute additions. Mom held the final pow-wow in the living room, gathering us around for inspection.

Not sure exactly why, since we had a nine-plus hour trip ahead of us, probably closer to twelve if you accounted for stops. But whatever made her happy was what made the rest of us happy.

She walked around me, inspecting me appearance and grunted. “You’re okay with showing up like that in front of your distant relatives and associates?”

I shrugged. “Just planning on changing in the bathroom of our last stop, probably.” I replied. “I have another outfit handy, I just wanted to be comfortable for the trip.”

“Such a clever male, aren’t you?” she mused, ruffling my hair before moving on to inspect her sister. Mom pursed her lips, noticing that Alexa was wearing her long blonde hair in a sloppy ponytail, and was clad in a tank top over which she was wearing an oversized shirt she’d left open. This did little or nothing to conceal exactly how large or impressive her bust was. She finished her ensemble with her jogging shorts again and flip-flops.

“Wow, you tried even less than Alex,” mom commented. “If that’s possible.”

“You have no idea,” Alexa replied, shrugging casually. “I’m not even wearing underwear.”

I coughed and looked away as mom’s eyes widened. “Are you serious?” she exclaimed.

“What?” dad reasoned from his place nearby. “You’re not either.”

“Hush, you…” mom hissed, shooting him a look. “She’s supposed to see me as a good example, I don’t actually need to be one.”

She then decided we were ready, making sure everyone’s phones were charged. “Alex, go with your father for the first stretch. I’ll take Alli in your vehicle, I’m going to fill her in on all the people she’s likely to meet over the next week.”

“Oh, rapture.” Alexa muttered as she followed my mother out the door. Dad and I chuckled and took two minutes to shut down the house and lock the doors. He clapped me on the shoulder and led me to the car. I paused on the stairs.

“Uh, just in case I have to take over the driving,” I said somewhat uncertainly. “You are wearing underwear, right? Dad?”

“You’ll just have to hope I’m not lying when I say yes!” he laughed as he unlocked the doors to the vehicle.

***

Dad had scoped out restaurants along our route and we were now sitting in an Indian restaurant, having vegetarian food. Alexa seemed right at home and dived right in, eating lots of everything.

“Not a big stretch for me,” she explained as she worked her way through her mutter paneer. “I almost went vegan when I was sixteen, but giving up dairy and a few other things entirely was too darn hard. Hell, a real vegan can’t even eat honey, so forget that.”

“I tried being a vegan for a while,” dad commented as he dipped his naan bread. “Worst two minutes of my life.”

Alexa almost choked on her food as she stifled a laugh. She recovered and told my dad she loved his sense of humour. She asked mom why she wasn’t always rolling on the floor laughing at his quips.

“They’re one of the reasons I fell in love with him, initially,” mom said, eating her korma. “But, like any addicting drug, you get used to it after a while and it stops having the effect that got you hooked in the first place. Now it’s more or less just a filthy habit I can’t do without, whether I like it or not.”

“It’s true,” dad added. “Just one of my zingers used to result in her panties going missing in under three seconds. Bad news when your mother walked in on us about fifteen minutes later.”

Alexa looked at my mom with wide eyes. “You let yourself get caught by mom flagranting the delicto with gargantua here? No wonder she developed heart issues.”

Mom blushed and looked at her food. “Not my finest moment.”

“The eight millimeter recording of it says otherwise,” dad countered. “That incident was what convinced me that you remembered my name.”

I couldn’t help but burst out laughing, while my aunt looked at her sister incredulously. Mom just hung her head and said nothing. Alexa finally turned her head to stare at my dad in a mixture of wonder and horror.

“Are you Satan?” she asked.

I’d never seen mom guilt-eat so much ras malai before.

***