Chapter 64

She finally closed her eyes. “This is all so much right now. I guess… let me sleep, Alex. I don’t mean to sound selfish, but I think I need to sleep and be alone for a few hours. Maybe I’ll have clarity when I wake up. I can’t be objective around you, I’m sorry.”

“No, trust me, I understand,” I said readily, rising from the bed. “I’m not the least bit objective around you either, Alexa. You think, I’ll think. We may not come up with an answer we like, but if we both think it through, at least we know we’ll come up with the right answer.”

She nodded. “I’ll message you later, think of something I need from the house so you can bring it over.”

I nodded, not wanting to leave or even take my eyes off her, as if I was afraid something would happen the moment I did.

Her eyes were glassy as she looked up at me. “Kiss me, Alex?”

I went to her and gently pulled her into my arms, kissing her deeply and lovingly again. It felt like the most natural thing in the world, even if those crystal tears from her lovely blue eyes ran between our cheeks. She was beautiful when she cried, even if it tore my heart out.

“I love you, Alex,” she murmured again through the kiss. “I’m in love with you.”

“I love you too,” I replied, memorizing what she felt like against me. “Sleep now, Alexa, get better for me. You’ll see me soon.”

As I closed the door behind me, I could hear her beginning to sob and it took every bit of my willpower to not rush back in and comfort her. She needed her time. My face was warm and flush as I walked out of the hospital, my mind spinning. To lose the woman I loved…

***

I’d taken a nap myself upon returning home, since my nerves were pretty shot. I’d done some thinking about the predicament but there were no satisfactory answer to be found, nothing she and I would like. I’d crashed on the long couch and was awakened when I heard my dad’s vehicle pull up and the doors close. I blinked and checked my watch. It was almost 6:30.

Dad and mom came in, noticing me rising from my nap on the couch.

“Did you sleep well, Alex?” mom asked as she came in. “We stopped by the hospital on our way back and Allie said she’d sent you home so she could sleep and not feel obligated to stay awake and entertain someone. She’s had a long day.”

I nodded. “I think we all have. You okay, mom?”

“Oh, I’m fine now, thank you,” she said almost cheerfully. “Now that I know my baby sister is going to be okay, I’m relieved and able to think again. We just brought home take-out, darling, you hungry?”

“When is he not?” dad chuckled. “It’s just burgers and stuff, but it was quick and easy. I somehow doubt he’ll object.”

I stood up and joined them at the table, where mom filled me in on more of the details of the incident. It seemed a little surreal to hear about it since I already knew the outcome. But mom told me about it at length and in great detail. It occured to me that she was doing this as much for her own benefit as mine. Her analytical, scientific mind was describing and formulating it so she could deal with it. I let her talk as much as she needed.

She showed me pictures of what was left of her vehicle and I was amazed- the passenger’s side was royally fucked up. It was hard to imagine Alexa not having been killed in that impact, forget escaping with just minor cuts and bruises. A cold chill ran down my spine.

Mom sighed and nodded her head. “I’m just glad there’s nothing wrong with her.”

“I wouldn’t say that,” I muttered. “Anyone who would pull a prank like that the moment they woke up from a car accident isn’t right in the head.”

Dad laughed. “Turns out your family has a sense of humour after all, Karen. It must have just skipped you.”

My mother shot him a look. “That’s right, Mike, keep feeding the bear. I hope neither of you mind, I might go through an entire bottle of wine by myself this evening. Help with the nerves and all.”

“Doesn’t bother me,” dad said cheerfully. “I promise to not even try and take advantage of drunk you this time around.”

“How chivalrous of you, Conan,” mom said dryly, rolling her eyes. “But stay nearby, in case I need a shoulder to cry on.”

Dad nodded and began clearing the remains of supper away. Mom looked at me. “I’ve had enough of cars for one day, Alex. If Allie calls and needs anything, you’re getting stuck driving since I’ll be in no shape to make it out there, got it?”

I nodded. “I’ll play offline for a change, just so I don’t get tooo caught up.”

“Good,” she declared, taking a wine glass and an entire unopened bottle of Old-Vine Zinfandel. “I’ll be up on my bed getting blitzed. Your dad’s in charge of directing you now. G’night.”

I went down to my room and began playing a game, to keep myself occupied and keep from fretting when there was nothing I could do. I’d been playing for maybe two hours when my dad called down the stairs.

“Alex?” he said loudly. “Your aunt was hoping you could take her some of her books and her laptop? I guess she’s a tad bored.”

“Yeah, I can do that,” I said, trying to sound resigned to the prospect. “I’ll be up in a minute to get her stuff and then go.”

Dad seemed satisfied with that answer and left me to finish up. I went upstairs and packed her laptop, along with some of the novels I found under her nightstand. I also packed her webcam, in case her friend Freja wanted to see her. I called out that I was leaving and drove back to the hospital. It was now dark and the place was practically empty. The nurse at the desk nodded me through, reminding me that visiting hours ended in just under forty-five minutes.

The door was open so I knocked and went in. Alexa’s face lit up when she saw me, smiling radiantly. She never ceased to get more beautiful in my eyes.

“Alex,” she said almost dreamily. “Close the door. Come here and let me kiss you…”

I did so and then put the laptop and books down as she held out her arms. They’d removed the IV’s and sensors from her, meaning she could move freely. I pulled her into my arms and kissed her deeply, enthralled to be feeling her against me again. I couldn’t get over how right it felt. It was Heaven. She moaned through the kiss, apparently every bit as relieved as I was.

She pulled back from the kiss and smiled at me. “I love you, Alex. And it may not be the smart thing to do, but I want to be with you as long as I can. I need this and I need you. I won’t give up my present happiness because of a possible future sadness.”

She pulled me down to sit on the bed, her hands clasped in mine. “I guess I did need that time. So if you have no objections, let’s go with the fake dating plan.”

I looked deep into her eyes and drew a deep breath. “Well, actually…” I said reluctantly.

Alexa froze. I could almost feel her heart stopping, her blood turning to ice. Her eyes were wide with an instant horror at what I was obviously going to say next.