Chapter 2

I took one of those chubby little hands and traced the number in the palm. “It looks like that.”

She nodded. “Yes. I see it.”

“Don’t go past there,” I said.

“Okay,” she said. “Why?”

“It’s too deep for you past there,” I told her. She nodded again, kicked off her shoes, pulled her little white dress over her head and handed it to Sara.

“Hold this, Mamma,” she said. She ran giggling to the steps in her panties and was splashing away in seconds. I was frozen. She had called Sara “Mamma.”

When I could think again, Sara was easing herself down into the chaise next to mine, one of my beers in one hand and a slice of my pizza in the other. “What the hell are you doing?” I said.

“Do you like her?” she asked. “She’s beautiful, isn’t she? She’s very sweet, too. I know you’re going to love her, John.”

I sputtered for a minute. “Yes, she’s gorgeous. Mamma? She’s yours, Sara? When did this happen?”

“Well, three years ago, obviously,” she laughed. “Yes, she’s mine, John. She can be yours, too, if you’re interested.”

My brain was very stupid. “What’s that supposed to mean? What’s going on here, Sara? Why did you bring her over here? Why are you here? You left me, remember? You needed to ‘find yourself.’ Why can’t you leave me alone?”

She laughed again. “Which one of those do you want me to answer first? How about this: I brought her here so she could meet her father. I’ve been trying to do that for three years, but you’re too big a coward to face me so I could introduce you. If you hadn’t run away at The Cellar, you’d have seen Kelly drop her off.”

I was going into panic mode. “Her father? I’m not… what the… fuck you, Sara. I’m not a coward; can’t you get it through your head I don’t want to be around you? I think it’s time for you to leave.”

“I’m not leaving,” she said. “You’ll have to call the police to get rid of me. Do you really want to get rid of her?” She nodded in the direction of the pool. “You are her father, John. Look at her; can’t you feel it?”

That little wet beauty had found some pool toys and was happily playing with them. “I better get her some towels,” I said. There was a huge lump in my throat and I could feel myself beginning to lose the control I so desperately needed around Sara. I got up, went inside and got some big fluffy towels. Tomy eyed me, sleepily, heaved himself to his feet and ambled out after me. He saw Sara and his stump of a tail began to wag furiously. Then, he spotted Sareen and he began to wiggle all over. He trotted over to Sara and she threw her arms around him.

“There’s Mommy’s big guy,” she crooned. He licked her face, his huge pink tongue nearly covering it. She looked up at me, a bit of drool hanging from her chin and laughed. “Is one of those towels for me?”

I couldn’t help but chuckle. All mastiffs drool. The Neapolitans drool more than most. Tomy is a 160-pound male Neapolitan Mastiff. I got him as a puppy when Sara and I were still married. “Yes,” she cooed at him. “Mommy does love you. She’s been missing you very badly.”

That soured my mood. I seemed to remember that she’d been the one who left. If she’d missed him so badly, she knew the cure. Sareen saw him and shrieked with delight. She came splashing up the pool steps and I wrapped her up in one of the towels. “Is that Tomy?” she asked. “Mamma told me about him. Can I pet him?”

“Yes, he’d love that,” I told her. She ran on her tiptoes over to him and her mother and threw her arms around his neck. He panted with joy, all that loose wrinkly skin jiggling with the effort. She looked up at her mother.

“I want him, Mamma,” she said. Sara looked at me and raised that eyebrow. She dried Sareen off, slid her dress over her head and watched her scamper away, throwing Tomy’s ball for him to chase.

“I don’t believe you,” I told her.

“Yes, I know,” she said. “I’ll get proof. I’ll get a DNA test done. I was never unfaithful to you, John. You know that.”

I didn’t know that at all, but it didn’t matter. “I’ll need to see that proof,” I told her.

Her bottom lip came out in a pout. It was adorable and made you want to kiss her and suck on that puffy lip. Until she broke your heart, that is. “I figured you’d say that. You’ll have to cooperate. I’ll need a cheek swab. I’d have done it long ago if you didn’t run every time I tried to talk to you. I began to lose hope that I’d run into you. You’ve been hiding pretty well.”

“Sara, you left me, remember?” I said. “You weren’t happy. That’s what you told me. We got married too young, there was all of life waiting for you out there and you wanted to explore. That’s what you said, and that’s what you did. You tore my heart out. I loved you with everything I had. That wasn’t enough for you. You wanted more. I don’t know what the hell you wanted. I only know you moved out, went on your merry way, ‘exploring’ or whatever. Fine, you had every right to do whatever the hell you wanted. It’s been three years. Why are you here? Don’t give me any bullshit.”

“John, did I divorce you?” she asked.

“No, you just left me,” I said.

“That’s right,” she said. “You divorced me, not the other way around.”

“What did you expect?” I asked.

“Not that,” she said. “Why do you assume I didn’t mean exactly what I said, John?”

“Well, there was the fact that I saw you at the White Rhino with ‘The Big Dog’,” I said. “He has dark hair and blue eyes, doesn’t he?”

“You bastard,” she practically spat it out. “So do you. Charles is a colleague, we were there doing a live show, and he’s the biggest asshole on the planet. What, did you think I would ever voluntarily be with him anywhere?”

“Looked like you were having a good time to me,” I said.

“I’m a performer,” she snarled. This was the Sara I remembered.

“So, how’s the search going?” I asked. “Did you find yourself?”

“Jesus, you can really be a prick sometimes, John.” She drew in a deep breath. “I didn’t come here to fight with you, the opposite, in fact. I need to explain some things to you.”

“I don’t want to hear it,” I said.

“Well, that’s too bad,” she shot back. “You have a daughter, John. I’m her mother. She’s our daughter and you need to listen to me. She needs her father in her life.”

“Maybe the ‘Big Dog’ would be interested in hearing your story,” I said.