Chapter 105

She blinked. “I interrupted you having sex?”

“Yes.”

“With a girl?”

“Of course!” I snapped, my face colouring. “You interrupted me having sex with a real, live girl.”

She looked around. “Where is she?”

“She heard you knock and demand to come in and threw herself under my bed.” I replied, knowing exactly how precarious this moment was and trusting to my mother’s sense of decency. “I’ll probably never get her back out now.”

“Oh,” mom said, considering and apparently forgetting that she was still completely nude in the middle of her son’s hotel room. “Is it Jennifer? Is that you, Jennifer?”

“No, mother, it’s not Jennifer.” I said in exasperation, wishing she would just do whatever she needed to do to leave my room. “It’s someone else entirely.”

She raised an eyebrow. “You’re cheating on Jennifer? She’s going to make a wallet out of your face when she finds out.”

“I’m not cheating on Jennifer!” I complained, marching forward and whipping off my sheet to give to her. “And please cover up, this is very disconcerting for me!”

“Oh, you’re such a drama llama,” she said, rolling her eyes and wrapping herself in the proffered sheet, choosing to not notice any sticky spots on it. I took a towel I’d been wearing earlier from a shower and wrapped it around my waist. “So who is she?”

“Someone not related to any of the people we’ve met at this wedding,” I said matter-of-factly. “Another guest of the hotel.”

It wasn’t a lie, it was just a misleading truth. Hopefully it was good enough.

“Well, that’s unusually ambitious of you,” mom mused, sitting down on the edge of the bed and crossing one leg over the other. She then patted the mattress. “Hello under there. I hope I didn’t frighten you.”

“Vallitettavasti minun Eglanti ei ole hyva!” Alexa squeaked from under the bed.

Mom looked at me in confusion. “What did she say? What language was that? Souded like Finnish”

“Yes, mother, that was indeed Finnish she was speaking to you.”

“Huh,” mom mused. “Your Finnish is good enough to get her in the sack, hm? Nice job.”

“My Finnish doesn’t need to be good to get a girl in the sack, mother.” I said dryly. “Maybe I just looked at her and her panties flew off.”

“If she was wearing panties then you were working too hard,” mom answered. “Have you seen Alli?”

“I- Not in the last little while, no.” I replied. It was another misleading truth, I hadn’t seen Alexa for nearly two minutes now, since my mom nearly caught us. “Maybe she’s with Cori again?”

“No, Cori was down with us at the lake,” mom answered, still sitting on the bed, perilously close to her younger sister. “So if Alli is with a girl, it’s someone else entirely. You two are showing real ambition this weekend, I’m impressed. Up ’til now, I’ve only heard about her messing around with that ditz Jeanie and you with… oh, what was her name… Heather?”

“Guess I’m going to be going back to messing around with Heather, since my guest hiding under the bed is going to want nothing to do with me once you’re done rattling off the list of other girls I’ve been with.” I grumbled. “Seriously, mother. I’m not sure normal parents do this to their children.”

“True, but if you’d been a normal or average kid, I would have left you to perish on a windswept crag after you were born,” she replied, finally standing. “Well, sorry about interrupting your coitus, but this an emergency, as you can see. Your dad was elsewhere and not able to help, although I’m sure he knows by now. I’ll be borrowing this blanket if you don’t mind, and heading back to my own room. If you see Alli, tell her I need to talk to her.”

I nodded as she swept by me and let herself out. Several seconds passed and I opened the door and peered outside, to make sure she was nowhere around. I closed the door and breathed a sigh of relief, my heart pounding.

“She’s gone…” I said wearily.

Alexa slowly climbed from under my bed, her eyes still wide with paranoia. She finally rolled onto the mattress and put her hands over her face, her glorious body once again exposed to me.

“Ohhhhhhhhhh my God,” she moaned into her hands. “That was the worst moment of my life. And I’ve seen David Hasselhoff perform live. I was so frightened I had wrapped myself up like a mummy in that sheet, in case she looked under the bed.”

“Quick thinking with the other language,” I replied, coming over and laying down next to her, my body still trembling with anxiety. “I thought we were dead. So very, very dead.”

“Well, like my mother always said, don’t start what you can’t Finnish.” Alexa quipped, trying to lighten the mood. “Sounds like a joke your dad would tell.”

“He has,” I muttered. “Those two are out of control. If it weren’t for incest, we’d be nowhere near as poorly behaved as my parents.”

Alexa sighed, putting one forearm on her forehead as she stared at the ceiling. “You know the two of them have shared twin sisters?” she asked, making me turn my head and look at her wryly. “Yeah, they’ve fucked two girls who were sisters. Students of theirs, apparently.”

“Are you intimating that we should drop Linguistics and join their science classes so that you and I can fuck?” I asked.

“Nooooooooo,” she said in a resigned tone. “Kinky sisters are one thing. You and I in love and wanting to get married? Have kids? That’s another. It’ll ruin their careers and everyone’s lives, I imagine.”

We both sighed in despair and turned to snuggle in to one another, bodies fitting together perfectly. I felt her tremble and looked down, worried. Her eyes were crystalline with tears as she gazed back at me.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered, her voice raw with sheer emotion and anxiety. “That was just so frightening and it brought home exactly how dangerous a game it is we’re playing and how completely we’re going to lose… I’m sorry, Alex… so sorry…”

I hugged her to me fiercely and let her begin to cry. I squeezed my eyes shut, willing myself to remain strong for her. I encased her smaller form in mine, letting her know she was loved and protected. Maybe three minutes past before she looked up again, sniffled and smiled weakly.

“Sorry about that,” she said, much more herself now. “I was just freaked out. Don’t worry about anything I said, I had a weak moment. You know I’m totally in love with you.”

“I know,” I replied gently, smiling and kissing her forehead. “And you know I am with you. Could you see what was happening out here at all?”

“Mostly no,” she admitted, shaking her head. “I saw her come in back naked, which was really weird, but mostly then just her ankles while she talked to you. And then she sat on the bed…”

“And I had the tenth of about thirty mini-heart attacks…” I muttered. “That woman has the worst timing.”

“Well, at least you threw her off the trail and now she thinks your studly,” she giggled, poking my nose. “And I really could stand to fuck again, but one terrifying encounter a day is enough. I think I’d better head back to my room and find a way to smell like lesbian sex, rather than her son.”

I hated to admit it, but she was right. She got dressed and snuck out once I told her the coast was clear. I then went to take a shower, hopefully bleeding away the incredible stress I felt. I may have been only eighteen, but I was beginning to feel eighty.

I was getting too old for this shit.

***

“I know it’s sudden notice, but I’m really in a bind,” Liz said, talking to Alexa and holding her hand while I was standing nearby. Mom was with them, as were other women, mostly members of the bridal brigade. “One of my girlfriends got busted in the airport with weed and she’s not making it for this, meaning I’m short a girl. Can you please fill in for her?”

Alexa blushed. “I’m flattered, but are you sure it’s the right decision for you? There must be a ton of other girls here who you know better and would-“

“It’s true, I know just about everyone here better than I know you, but you’re other person everyone seems to be clamouring about, so I figured I should include you. C’mon, it’s all the champagne you can drink!”

“But I don’t even have a dress to match what your-“