Chapter 62

“I’m not frightened about the accident, Alex, not in the conventional sense,” she began. “I’m… frightened because of the doors that have suddenly swung open, long before I was prepared for them to open and have to walk through them. I could’ve been killed and here I am, looking at decisions that I have to make. That… we have to make now.”

I nodded, dreading what she was referring to.

“It’s horrible,” she said softly. “Horrible and unfair. We never discussed where this would take us, what we’d do when we reached a point where choices needed to be made. We were so lost in one another and selfish about it, not that I blame us. Alex, you make me feel like no one ever has before. I can say that with complete honesty.”

Her hands squeezed mine now and I could hear the frustration in her voice as it cracked. “And it’s so damned unfair that you’re my nephew. How did you keep it together when you got here and not break down? Alex, I know how much I mean to you, I see it in your eyes when we’re together. And you mean every bit as much to me. But if it’d been you lying here, I don’t know if I could have kept up the facade that protects us.”

There were tears on her cheeks as she pressed the back of my hands to her lips and kissed them.

“We should have always known, should have been more restrained. Because how the hell could we ever continue this, no matter how much we both want it?”

I pulled her to me and hugged her tight as she cried, her body shuddering against mine. I didn’t really notice her breasts squashed to my chest or the softness of her skin or any of the other enthralling things I normally reveled in about her. I stroked her hair and kissed the top of her head, just letting her weep gently after her ordeal.

“I’m so terrified, Alex,” she said against my shoulder. “I’m terrified because I knew all along I had to lose you.”

Her next words were like thunder in my ears, even though she spoke them with the tiniest voice I’d ever heard her use.

“Because I know I’m in love with you…”

***

I was sitting in the chair reading when my dad and mom came in, obviously having met up after their calls ended. I put a finger to my lips, indicating that they should be quiet, because Alexa was sound asleep. I walked with them out into the hall.

“Any news?” mom asked.

I shook my head. “Nothing you don’t already know. She just got tired and took a nap. She’s probably pretty drained.”

“Fair enough,” mom said, rubbing her eyes. “Been a long day for everyone and it’s not even noon yet. So what’ll we do?”

Dad sighed. “Well, you and I are already behind on grading papers, maybe we should head to school and do our big people jobs? We know Alexa’s fine, Karen. Leave her with Chatterbox McGee here, at least we know she’ll get some sleep that way.”

“And what if I had plans?” I interjected, trying to sound annoyed.

“Oh, please, Hyrule or whatever can save itself for a day,” mom snorted before looking at dad. “Hyrule? Did I get that right?”

Dad shrugged. “I’m a PC gaming god, honey, not a dirty console peasant.”

“You’re worse than he is,” mom muttered. “Fine, we’ll come see her after we finish. Link, you stand guard for a while and keep us updated. We’ll be done after five.”

Then they turned and made their exit, leaving me standing in the hallway outside of Alexa’s room, staring dumbly. With a sigh, I went back into the room and sat in the chair, reading stuff on my phone. Maybe an hour later, Alexa woke up and turned her head to look at me.

“Hey…” she said softly.

“Hey, you,” I said, smiling. “Mom and dad went back to work since the university was calling like crazy, freaking out.”

“I’m sure,” she mused, sitting up. “They could’ve lost one of their senior staffers in the Physics department.”

We sat silently for a few moments before she turned her head to look at me.

“Are we stupid for ever having started this, Alex? It could never be what we wanted, civilization wouldn’t let us be together.”

“I don’t know,” I answered glumly. “I… would have kept on as long as I could, but this scare sort of put it in perspective, right? Maybe we were fooling ourselves.”

She laid back against her pillow, staring at the ceiling. “I’ve never been in love before, not like this,” she murmured. “It feels so right and natural.”

“I know,” I sighed. “I’ve… well, Alexa, I’m pretty damned sure I’m in love with you too. Hell, I know I am. You’re all I ever think about and I nearly fell apart on the way over here. Thought my heart was going to burst out of my chest.”

She smiled sadly and squeezed my hand. “It thrills me to hear you say that, Alex, but it also makes me sad, because now we share the pain. If you didn’t love me the way I love you, at least only one of us would be suffering and I’d never wish what I’m feeling on you.”

She closed her eyes, still holding my hand. “It feel so right with you. Like it’s meant to be. But it’s not. And I don’t know what to do.”

I drew a deep breath. “Do we… do we just see other people and hope it fades in time?”

“I guess,” she replied, opening her eyes and looking at the far wall. “But I live with you, I don’t know how that will help. I’ll be seeing you all the time and just yearning.”

“I know,” I sighed. “But I’m out of ideas.”

We were silent for a while longer when someone came in. Jeanie, the student of my mom and dad’s that I had met the previous day, swished into the room, looking quite concerned.

“Alexa!” she exclaimed as she came over and gave my aunt of big hug. I began to understand what my mom and dad meant about her being dumb, because any person with functioning neurons would have known better than to bear hug a person in a hospital bed after they’d been in a car accident and were still hooked up to the machines. Alexa graciously returned the hug and smiled at her.

“Hi, Jeanie,” she said pleasantly. “I’m glad you could come down, that’s very nice of you.”

“Of course I did,” Jeanie said, holding Alexa’s hand and looking stern. “Had to make sure you weren’t trying to get out of our playdate, after all.”

“Perish the thought,” my aunt said, waving the concern off. “I wouldn’t dare miss it. I’m only a little banged up, no broken anything, no head trauma, just badly shaken nerves and maybe my pants need washing.”

“Kinky,” jeanie said slyly before looking over and finally noticing me. “Oh, hey, I remember you, you’re Mr de Bourne’s son, right?”

“Yep,” I said, standing to tower over her, perhaps feeling a little possessive of my aunt. “I met you yesterday in dad’s office.”

“Yeah, you do look alike,” she used nodding. “Your dad’s hot. So you two know each other?”